Give me the grace, Good Lord

To set the world at naught. To set the mind firmly on You and not to hang upon the words of men’s mouths.

To be content to be solitary. Not to long for worldly pleasures. Little by little utterly to cast off the world and rid my mind of all its business.

Not to long to hear of earthly things, but that the hearing of worldly fancies may be displeasing to me.

Gladly to be thinking of God, piteously to call for His help. To lean into the comfort of God. Busily to labor to love Him.

To know my own vileness and wretchedness. To humble myself under the mighty hand of God. To bewail my sins and, for the purging of them, patiently to suffer adversity.

Gladly to bear my purgatory here. To be joyful in tribulations. To walk the narrow way that leads to life.

To have the last thing in remembrance. To have ever before my eyes my death that is ever at hand. To make death no stranger to me. To foresee and consider the everlasting fire of Hell. To pray for pardon before the judge comes.

To have continually in mind the passion that Christ suffered for me. For His benefits unceasingly to give Him thanks.

To buy the time again that I have lost. To abstain from vain conversations. To shun foolish mirth and gladness. To cut off unnecessary recreations.

Of worldly substance, friends, liberty, life and all, to set the loss at naught, for the winning of Christ.

To think my worst enemies my best friends, for the brethren of Joseph could never have done him so much good with their love and favor as they did him with their malice and hatred.

These minds are more to be desired of every man than all the treasures of all the princes and kings, Christian and heathen, were it gathered and laid together all in one heap.

Amen

     This year has been a test for my faith and I have learned much about myself.  I have learned that the more I trust in others and in myself to be a saint the more I am left unsatisfied.  It is critical for my holiness that I continue to place all my trust in You and hope for the best.  The Salesians have been a great aid in my life for the last three years of my life.  They have taught me the spirit of Don Bosco and how to see the world from a new perspective.  With all the joy they have brought about I cannot fail to mention all the struggles that they have brought about as well.  This notion calls to mind the quote by St. Teresa of Jesus, “It is certain that the love of God does not consist in experiencing sweetness or tenderness of heart but in truly serving God in Justice, strength and humilty.”  I have certainly not felt the sweetness of the Lord with all the disagreements I had with some of the Salesians about my vocation.  However, this has compelled me to put more trust in the Lord.  No matter what I say, the Lord knows me and my calling in life better than I do.  I am now embarking on a new journey in my life where I will be faced with new joys and struggles.  The Salesians have taught me the essentials of my faith and I am going to learn more about the Jesuit spirituality.  Perhaps, the Jesuits are the ones who can help me to become a saint!    I know that they are responsible for forming men of great character.  I will major in Biology at Loyola in Maryland and hopefully with God’s grace I can become a doctor.  If God wills it, I would like to become a priest someday.  My vocation is the now and I must worry about tomorrow because today has enough adversities of its own.  I will never forget the Preventive System and the Spirit of Don Bosco.  I will never forget all the friends I made and the happiness there is in this spirituality.  In addition, I will never forget the conflicts and have learned that at the end of the day the only oppinion that matters is that of God.  Oh God if it is your will I must become a priest and the world cannot do anything about it.  First, the diocese said I would make a bad priest and then some of the Salesians did not want me to enter because of an issue with my family.  With Your help and Grace I will figure out my vocation.  The greatest Saints throughout history struggled with the politics of orders and dioceses but they overcame it with your aid.  St. Damien of Molokai: the great advocate of lepers was looked down by his superiors for following his vocation but he trusted in God and he was canonized!  The day I figure out who I am and what my purpose is in this world is the day I allow myself to give everything to You.  That is also the day that I would discover a deeper love for You.  For now, my duty is to enjoy life and forget the past.  The past is done and I have the whole future to prove to the people that doubted me that I will be successful.  Finally, I would like to end with thought by St. Ignatius of Loyola: “Let us work as if success depended upon ourselves alone, but with heartfelt conviction that we are doing nothing, and God everything.” 

In Christ,

Vinny

Why does it seem like everything in my life is falling before my eyes?  I have a horrible relationship with my mother and my brother.  My father abandoned me when I was younger and he has this notion that it is alright to call me occasionally and not actually be there for me.  I’m still discerning my vocation and I feel called to the priesthood and the Salesians of St. John Bosco.  The Archdiocese of New York thinks I am angry and I am because I am not happy at home.  God is not the center of my household and it is chaotic.  At this moment, I am not sure whether I will be going back to Salesian next year and I am so upset.  Father, what must I do and how should I react?  My discernment is hindered by so many obstacles.  I want to be holy and happy but instead I feel empty and  without love.  I realize that everyone must suffer in their lives but why is it that I have to leave Salesian?  I am so happy there and I feel the spirit of St. John Bosco as I roam the hallways.  It seems as if no one cares about me except You.  I know that You are always here for me despite the various obstacles in my life.  I wish that You will take all my sorrows away and turn them into joys.  I have all this sadness inside of me and I want You to take it away from me.  My mother is stubborn and has a misconception of what love trully is.  She feels as if supporting me financially is love but I want a mother like the Blessed Mother.  This is why I took Mary as my mother.  You and Mary are my best friends.  I will miss the daily visits to the Eucharist at Salesian.  I will miss the advice from the priests.  I will miss the weekly masses and adoration once a month.  The Salesians have helped me so much with my faith.  I am with Don Bosco no matter what because he is helping me become a saint!  My senior year is probably going to be the toughest year of my life because I need to make the decision whether I will enter Salesian formation or not.  Before Sophomore year at Salesian I was just a Catholic by name but by the first day of religion class that all changed.  My teacher told me that my most important job in life is to save my soul.  So, I started reading more about You through the Saints and how they responded to Your call.  I took St. Dominic Savio as my guide and model.  Help me to continue serving You regardless of my daily struggles.  I really want to become a saint and I know that I can if I follow the ways of Don Bosco.  I love You so much God and I will do anything for You!   Help me to always keep the Serenity Prayer in mind.

Give me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change;

the courage to change the things that I can;

and the wisdom to know the difference.

You are my everything and the reason why I live.  Let me always remember that and not despair because You will turn my sorrows into joy!

Your Son/Best Friend,

Vinny

     

Lord, there are so many times where I expect love to be an emotion.  However, this thought is a misconception of what love is.  In our society, the word “love” is tossed around without any consent of its true definition.  How many times do people express their feeling with the word love.  For example, “I love ice cream.”  True love is Christ and in order to be part of His love, one must deny himself in this world.  One must suffer and detach himself from people and objects.  One must except tribulations with an open heart like Christ did while suffering on the cross.  My dear Jesus, help me to detach myself from people and to accept things without losing my inner peace.  Help me to realize that things happen for a reason and that I should not try to convince people to be part of my life if they clearly do not intend to do so.  How hard it is to be detached but it helps me to somewhat realize how you felt on the Cross.  It helps me to contemplate how You were deatched from the world and were help on the cross by nothing more than three nails.  Help me to be like You in all that I do.  Help me to be a saint but first help me to be a man.  I want to love like You and always be in Your grace.  

“Detachment. How hard it is! Oh, to be fastened by nothing but three nails and to have no more feeling in my flesh than the Cross.” -St. Josemaria Escriva